Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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