we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
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