what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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