He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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