Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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