I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
