she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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