Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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