Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives�
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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