i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
