You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
