and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
