piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
