good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize