omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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