perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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