Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
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