I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
