I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
