Banned from zoo.
Again?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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