Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I wish I only lived at night.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
