goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Too much gin, very little bucket
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
