your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i wish my penis had a tongue
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
