Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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