Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Randomize
