Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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