I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
