He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
