ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
