Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Randomize
