Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
