i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I wish life had little blips of pornography
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
