he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I want to be your penis for a week.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
