I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
