Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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