HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
