Kareoke will never be a sober sport
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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