What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
