operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
