She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
