In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
