i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
A+ Viking dick
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
