just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
