Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
