; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
