shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
