she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
