Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
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