my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
