she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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