I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
